Rings On Her Fingers......

 It's been quite a while since I've written about what's going on in our lives. All the while that I haven't been writing, we've been busy remodeling our old family home in order to rent it out again (at a higher price)... We traveled back and forth from Palm Springs to Richmond, figuring out how to organize all the repairs, and we even put on two garage sales, that let us get rid of many things, but didn't make us very much money toward the cause. Some keepsakes were sold cheaply, or given to those folks that showed a genuine interest in them and the story behind them.

The one things that traveled back and forth and were always with me, are my rings. "You have so many rings on your fingers!" folks exclaim. Well, that's because there's a reason for every one of them.

My wedding ring is a story unto itself. Before Doug proposed to me, he went with his daughter Charity to the Costco jewelry department and got me a diamond ring to present to me at the Nantucket Restaurant, in Crockett, CA. We had been there before, and had even had a special walk out on the pier, where we would lay down on boards and cuddle while looking at the stars. Pretty romantic, eh? 

We sat at a picnic table outside, and he proposed to me with the beautiful ring, and I said yes, and then my cell phone rang. It was my ex-husband, and it was irritating to Doug that he should call at this time. I didn't pick up, but then he called again. I answered, and told him what had just happened, and that he shouldn't be calling me so often, but I would call him. Every once in a while I had to remind him, "Divorce, right?"

Time went on, and I got to tag along on one of Doug's many business trips to Europe to buy antiques for his store. He decided to make a side trip to Scotland once, and after we landed and drove to an inn, I pulled my hand out of my pocket, and a diamond was missing from my engagement ring! The little prongs of gold were empty. When we got home, we went to the Costco jeweler and they seemed to happily replace it. Another diamond fell out once again, though, and then I confessed that I would really rather not have a diamond that was so big, (It seemed like it could be used as a weapon!), so we asked that it could be returned and we ran off to the Oaks Jewelers, on Solano Ave, in Berkeley. I chose a modest, even cloudy diamond, lower than the others, and surrounded by three little diamonds on each side. I was happy, and I even saved Doug some money!

After a while, I wanted to have another ring on my left hand, but since I usually am attracted to silver rings, I thought it should be a gold one so they wouldn't clash. I'd call my left one "my gold hand". So, while on a trip to Capitola, a favorite beach town since my childhood, I went into a shop called Super Silver Capitola. They have lots of choices of jewelry and at least at that time, they only charged you by the ounce. I told the person that I wish they had something in gold, and she showed me a couple of bands that were gold-plated, warning me that the gold would eventually wear off, and it would be silver. For the price, I went for it, and the nice Celtic looking ring lived on the third finger of my left hand. Later, it moved to my right hand when, just as she warned, it lost its golden sheen.

I had bought another silver ring at that store before, which I still wear. It's one of my favorites. It's smooth and strong, and always shines, showing me it's wave-like design, reminding me of Capitola. 

The ring that gets the most attention, even from strangers, is the one that Doug bought me at the ranger station at Olympia National Park for 20 bucks. It has a beautiful swirly setting that catches the eye, and if the sun catches it right, the opal fascinates folks. I explain that it is made from little chips of opals, not a whole one. It's still the winner.

A couple of years ago, our granddaughter, Karis, started a little online business for herself, marketing the rings and other jewelry that she makes. I noticed one that I liked, one that she constructed amazingly out of silver wire, winding it around and around in a very pleasing fashion. She quickly made one for me and sent it to me. I hope you'll check out her website: bishopkarebear.wixsite.com. Tell her "Gramma Patty sent me".

My latest rings happened pretty recently. Doug discovered that we had known each other for 20 years, on April 11th, 2022. He wanted to get me a special ring to commemorate it. The trouble is, that my fingers are rather large, and everywhere we went to try to find that special ring, they didn't have my size 9 in stock. It was the supply chain, because of Covid, they said. (The old story...) Finally, in Macy's, I asked the person to measure my finger for the size, just to be sure. Next day, we looked online on Amazon (of course), for a size 9 ring, and I found one I liked.

It has small diamonds, is silver and has a kind of a twist in it that attracted me....sort of symbolizing our meeting. 

A couple of weeks later, before that ring arrived, we had a reason to look into our safe deposit boxes. There I ran across my mother-in-law, Helen's, (Tutu's) wedding ring. I tried it on the middle finger of my left hand just for fun, (where the new one was supposed to go, and it fit so well!

I always thought that Tutu had smaller fingers than me. It's a platinum band with tiny diamonds as well. I decided to add it to my collection. When the new "meeting" ring came, it was a little too large, and I found that if I put it on first, and then added Tutu's ring on top of it, it held it in place. 

All of these rings have a special meaning to me, and they help me to remember people, and even pray for them. I think of where I was when I got them with fond memories. The only trouble is, that it's a full time job keeping them all adjusted and facing upright! Oh well, that gives me more time to look at them....

I've decided though, in case you wondered, I don't think I'll ever put bells on my toes.

Visitations

 It was a busy day at Lowe's garden department. The employees complained that too many plants had been delivered, and it was hard to keep them all watered. Customers were just filled with the hope of Spring and happy to see the abundance of flowers and bushes, even if there wasn't a sale. I had chosen a beautiful white rose, that I couldn't resist, with lots of promising looking buds on it. It even attracted the comments of other shoppers I passed, as if it was a cute baby riding in my cart.

I took my place in the long checkout line, and watched, as an older woman came through the doors from the patio pushing a flatbed cart with things she had chosen. Gosh, I thought, she looks so much like Helen, my mother-in-law who passed away in 1999. Her white, naturally curly, short hair and colorful clothes brought back memories of "Tutu", and made me feel good. 

Then, "Oh!", my heel had been run into by a cart behind me.....and there she was!!

"Oh my goodness! Did I hurt you?"

"It's not bad. Don't worry." She had made a quick u-turn to get into line behind me.

"You know", I said, "I'm glad to be able to talk to you, because when you came in the door, you reminded me of my mother-in-law. I haven't seen her for a long time."

"Oh my! I hope that is a Good thing!" she said with a little wink.

"It definitely is. We were great friends. I've even been wearing her wedding band on my finger for the last couple of weeks. It's made me feel closer to her."

We chatted about the flowers we bought and how busy it was, and I noticed her nice wrinkly Irish face, and her sparkling blue eyes. Hi Tutu, I thought. As I left, I told her how nice it was to meet her, and almost asked for her name. Then I thought better of it. It would have been too weird if it had been Helen.

I'm remembering another time I "saw" Helen. I was shopping at a Long's Drugs, looking for the perfect shampoo. A lady near me started chatting with me about which one to choose, there were so many types. Once again, the curly white hair and familiar face and attitude. I said, "My goodness, you certainly look a lot like my mother-in-law!"

She said, "All my life people have said I reminded them of Janet Gaynor. You probably don't know who she was."

"Actually I do! My Helen always said she was mistaken for that actress, since they were about the same age when she became popular in the movies in the 30's. Now I can see why there's such a resemblance! Thanks for talking to me first, it's exactly what Helen would have done. She was always so friendly to strangers."

This has happened to me at other times. Years ago in a church where my family attended. My husband, with teary eyes, elbowed me as he watched someone coming down the aisle. I looked and sure enough, a salty haired man who was identical to Wally, my father-in-law, took the seat a couple of pews ahead of us. Wally had passed away a few years before. Every so often we'd see the man again, never having a conversation, but aways nodding at each other and remembering.

One other time, when I worked as a waitress at a Baker's Square, a woman came in for lunch who reminded me of my Grandma Diddo. Talking to her, her voice sounded so familiar, even with the little chuckle I recall. I confessed to her what I was thinking, and she thought it was nice. After that she always asked to sit in my section, and sometimes I'd even say, "Bye Diddo" as she left. She'd smile.

What does all this mean? Probably nothing. They were all just what I call a visitation, a surprising little gift from God. I've heard that when a hummingbird comes and flutters near your face, it's called a visitation. This may be something a little bit more. My little visits bring back fond memories of loved ones, and make me think that perhaps they want me to still be thinking about them, and praying for them.

Helen "Tutu" and me

Wally Romer with baby Walt