The Velocity of a Cough

"You should gargle with salt water". I can still hear my mother's voice in my head after all these years. I've been reminded more recently, since after hearing me cough off and on through the night, I heard my husband's sleepy voice giving the remedy high praise. "I really think it's helped me dodge the flu that you have darling. I swear by it."

I don't know why I fight gargling. Finally giving in, I added the salt to some warm water, and gargled. First, I tried to gargle making it sound like the "Star-Spangled Banner", since that was my way of encouraging my kids to get the salty solution all around the uvula and throat. (Either that, or they'd laugh trying).

It didn't work for me, though. Once the water hit the back of my throat, it set me off with such a cough that a Blast of water came flying out of my mouth that covered the 3 by 4 foot mirror over the sink with salty drops. I was shocked at the force of a cough!

The next morning, while brushing my teeth, another creeper cough surprised me while I was brushing my teeth, (perhaps my gentle readers don't want to hear this), with "shock and awe", toothpaste and water were sprayed all over the aforementioned mirror and on my arms. Upon closer investigation a snotty, green, "luggie" had been "hacked" out and projected by the cough onto my arm! It was disgusting! (Hence the warning) 

The next day, my doctor prescribed an inhaler for me. The pharmacist instructed me to exhale as much as I could, and then inhale while squirting the mist into my mouth and try to then hold my breath. .... Now this was difficult, since inhaling instigates a tickle in the back of my throat lately, and as hard as I tried, the cough would burst out like I was a stoner trying to hold in smoke from a hash pipe. (as seen in movies, of course)
Again I wondered at the velocity of this cough that was expelled  from my body with such power!

So of course, I went to Google.
Evidently I'm not the first person to wonder about this. The explanation that was easiest for me to understand was written by Richard S. Irwin, MD, FCCP. He said "during vigorous coughing, expiratory velocities of up to 500 miles per hour may be generated."
Well, I'm just saying...... Cover your mouth when you cough! Do it the new approved way, by coughing into your elbow. Even our grandkids know how to do that.
Gesundheit

Sickroom Supplies

It's been so long since I've been sick with a cold and cough I kind of forgot how far down you can be dragged. Certain things have been known to either take me out of a funk or make me feel better when I'm ill. Last night when I couldn't sleep because of coughing, I found myself wandering around the house at 3:00 a.m., looking for remedies of any sort. Mostly found were daytime cold medicines, expired, and threatening side effects of nervousness and irritability. What I really wanted to find, was an old bottle of spray Chloraseptic that I used when my kids were still living at home. Maybe I never sorted it out and tossed it. Maybe it still had a bit left in it, enough to numb my throat so it wouldn't want to cough and wake me as I finally dozed. No such luck.
In the morning, I would gather together all the supplies I needed to get better.

When this began, a few days ago, I thought all I needed to knock this thing out was to gargle with salt water, and have some tea. Left at home alone in the morning, my husband went off to work by himself and I ventured down to the kitchen for that cup of tea. Peach Ginger tea sounded perfect, and I waited for the teapot to whistle. There came a tapping noise from the living room, and I peered around the corner for signs of life, but none. I went over to the various electronic devices that were humming away, unused. No tapping. Standing in the middle of the room, waiting..... a tapping to my left on the window. The culprit was right there! It was a  bushtittie! Well, a Bushtit, a small round ball of feathers that travels in flocks that have been known a couple of times a year to come to our yard, cover our lemon bush, making cute little noises like a bunch of squeeze toys outside the window. I've always announced with an English accent, "The Bushtitties are here!" to extract a bashful grin from my kids. Never, have I seen one fly right up to a window and peck at it. As I was watching that one, another one did the same at another window, taking a rest on a vine and then throwing itself at the window to peck again! I tried to take a picture, but it doesn't do it justice. This was still going on even after I drank my tea and came down 2 hours later. My sister says it must be mating season, and they are trying to get together with their reflections!

This experience reminded me that one of my favorite things in our room (whether sick or well) is to watch the birds at the bird feeder hanging outside the window. Today is a beautiful, springlike day. The finches, sparrows, and chickadees are all making delightful entertainment for me. I see them take turns sitting on the branches of the plum tree (with new blossoms), to fly over to the feeder to peck at the seeds and throw even more on the ground below. Occasionally I'll get a visit from a local Scrub Jay, that I call Blue Boy. He makes a huge "thump" on the metal hook that holds the feeder, helping us to greet the new day with him. His favorite munchie is the dripless suet made from peanuts and other seeds that you put in a little cage to hang. (If you don't get the dripless variety, the hot sun will melt the suet, or grease, all over the ground underneath.) Blue Boy goes into all sorts of contortions to get at the good stuff and to entertain us.

One thing about this cough, is that if I talk, it makes me cough. My husband might be enjoying this just a little bit too much. Many times I started telling a story that something reminded me of on tv, started coughing and then, waving my hand, said, "Never mind!" since it wasn't worth the telling. We went out to have a nutritious lunch of Shrimp Hot and Sour Soup at our favorite Vietnamese restaurant, Nong Thon, in El Cerrito. Since I was about to cough, I didn't blurt out our order to our server, I more politely waited for Doug to do it. This "condition" of mine has also brought to mind that I have been known to "talk over" someone. Not sure if it was ever worked in to a character on Seinfeld, but in an excited state, without realizing it, I've tried to get out my information about a subject before, or at least louder, than a friend. If I've ever done that to you, I'm sorry, and evidently I'm getting some time to think about it, with laryngitis. We'll see if the lesson sticks. I think it's a darned good Lenten practice.

Anyway, we went to the store for the supplies, the Chloroseptic, (the original disgusting flavor), some daytime and nighttime cold medicine, new menthol cough drops, more birdseed, and some carrots, apples and ginger to make myself some juice in my new Jack Lalanne Power Juicer. The latter is to keep me on the track I've been on to try to detox my body! Could this cold be all the toxins trying to fight their way out? (I've heard people say things like that before : p)
No..... but the words seem to be fighting their way out, and not through my mouth, through my fingers!
So , have some tea. Bottoms up!.....and good health to you all!

Moon Over My Waistline

Today I thought of a silver haired lady that we used to see gardening outside her apartment house in El Cerrito. The corner was a busy one, and most times she'd be there taking really good care of her hedges with an old-fashioned hedge clipper. Unfortunately, more often than not, when she bent over, her loosely banded sweatpants revealed her butt crack. I thought, "She must know that she is flashing everyone who is  sitting, waiting for the  light", but year after year she kept putting in her time on her corner lot, mooning everyone who passed.

Unfortunately, the reason I thought of the lady, (she, I'm sure is no longer with us), was because when I was gardening today, I think I resembled her. We had just dug all the weeds out of our raised bed, and chucked them into a couple of piles. I wheeled the green bin the city gives us on to the sidewalk, and started bending over repeatedly to pick up the weeds and chuck them over the rock wall into the bin. My pants have had a harder and harder time remaining on my so-called waist of late. It was the end of the day, and this was the last thing I had to do. I was tired of hitching up my pants, and I'm sure I may have flashed someone! (Well, there wasn't anyone around, but if they had been there, they would have been flashed.)

This whole observation may seem silly, but I found out the other day, why my pants don't stay on my waist..... I  took my measurements. Without confessing the actual data, suffice it to say that my chest measurement was only ONE INCH MORE than my waist OR my hips! This was an eye opener. Something to be dealt with.

We HAVE just come back from a vacation, but this isn't anything new. Sitting with a laptop on the bed and watching TV, and being less active has an effect on our bellies. Our bellies are also important for our back health, as I've been told by my physical therapist, and I have known, but not paid attention.

So, with instructions that I have been given for exercises, a regime that has been suggested to me for cleansing toxins, I'm on a mission to be healthier in my retirement. My mission is to not have to hitch up my pants every 5 minutes while gardening.

In the meantime however, I'm going to drag out my old pair of overalls...